Hey

Hey, ¿how you doing? It's weird to talk to you again. Kinda awkward too. We used to talk for hours. About everything. And look at us now. ¿what happened? ¿why does everything that I love have to die?

I can see you have been busy. Making some cool plans with your friends and with your girlfriend. I'm  glad you are OK. Because for some nights I couldn't sleep thinking about it. About how would you be doing. Then I understood. It wasn't my business. It never was. I thought I was much more for you than what I actually was. But it's OK. I know how to handle it. I always get through  the same stuff.

Yea. You were right. I expect too much of people. Too much of you, especially.

So hey, let's keep a normal conversation for a few minutes. Tell me what you've been doing. How you've been feeling and all that stuff. Let's pretend we are normal for a while. Let's pretend I'm not dying inside.

Oh and hey. I miss you.

Te fastidia

Te fastidia verlo de la mano de otra, sonriendola como te sonríe a ti. Te jode verle hablar de ella con esa mirada, la que tu siempre deseaste. Es más, te acojona lo que sientes, hasta el punto de que el otro día casi lloras en frente de el. Pensabas que era algo pasajero, pero mirate, han pasado meses y te sientes del mismo modo. Eso es lo que te aterroriza, eh? Malgastar la vida en sentimientos no correspondidos, en miradas no devueltas, en ser el segundo plato.
Y entonces te dices, mandale a la mierda, a caso no es lo mejor? Pero no puedes, otra vez ese miedo a vivir sin el, a no poder hablar con él, como si tu vida dependiera de él. Y sabes que eso es malo, no debes depender de nadie, sabes como acabó la última vez.

Real love

Once someone asked me if I was sure about my feelings. If I knew what real love was like. This person told me you know you love someone when you want to wake up next to him/her everyday. When you want to expend the rest of your life with this person. She told me that no matter how he/she looked, if you really loved him/her you would always see them as the most beautiful person ever. No matter if she was just woken up, if he was sneezing and with a flue, you would always see their beauty.

But she didn't told me how it hurted, when you want to expend all the nights with him or wake up next to him in the mornings and you couldn't. She should have told me how much it hurted. She should have told me love meant pain too. But I guess she already knew that...